Saturday, March 15, 2014

The Things We Should REALLY Never Say...

I had this moment today, when I was reading this really cool article called "22 Things You Should Never Say to a Skinny Woman". It was really great. It was simple and to the point, and it was about how badly people treat (sometimes unthinkingly) people they view as too skinny, just like they do with people they think are too fat. I read stuff like this all the time because it interests me, because we tend to forget that there are so many types of bodies on this earth and because we can't know someone's health or personal situation from a snapshot.  As in, maybe this person is chubby because she has PCOS. Or maybe she's skinny because she has Crohn's Disease, or cancer.  Or maybe she has or has had an eating disorder, for one of a thousand reasons.  Or maybe she's just skinny...or fat, and maybe it's just none of our business so we should just appreciate the human beauty that's there and move on with our day, instead of making unnecessary and hurtful comments.


My moment came from glancing over a comment at the bottom. I shouldn't have done that. I know I should never do that. Internet comments are weird and bullyish at best and downright demonistic at worst.  People say things over the internet that they would never say in person. And did you know that scientific studies have actually indicated that internet trolls are sadistic and prone to psychopathy in personality?  Still, I did glance down at the comment section, and there it was.  A comment from a fat girl about all the skinny girls commenting on how great the post was and how much it resonated with them. Mind you, I have NOTHING against fat girls. I am one. I'm happy; I'm healthy, and I'm good with my body. It took me a long time to get to that point, too, I'll tell you. 

The comment is what bothered me.  It went something like, "All you skinny bitches need to shut up and stop talking like you got it worse than us. I won't apologize for existing. You need to sit down, shut up and realize living skinny will always be easier than living fat."

It stuns me.  I mean, she won't apologize for existing (and nor should she), but she seems to be expecting all the skinny girls to do exactly that. I mean...there's some serious hypocrisy involved there.  And the bitch comment...I mean, body size does NOT a bitch make. 

So I can we ever expect to conquer sexism, which is still a problem the world over, if we as women can't even love and respect one another ourselves?  How can we convince others to see the beauty in our variety if we don't appreciate that beauty ourselves and understand the difficulties we all have?

Acceptance starts at home.  Equality for all humans starts at home.  They start with us.   

I will strive to love and respect all bodies, short and tall, fat and skinny and everything in between.  Healthy and frail.  Dark-skinned and light, and all the shades and backgrounds therein.  Those with religion and those without. Those covered and those bare, or mostly bare.  Those with makeup and those without (I'm far too lazy and cheap for makeup myself!). Those married and those single, whatever genders those spouses may happen to be.  Those with children and those with none. Those of all ages.

I love women. I love people.

And I will strive not to judge another person's struggles against my own, because we have all seen darkness or been tempted to it in our lives.  My being fat does not mean I have suffered more than someone my neighbor calls "skinny bitch" because she doesn't have to diet, though she does have problems keeping weight on her body.  My being a lesbian does not mean I have suffered more than the straight Colombian girl living down the street, or the straight white one, for that matter.  These things also do not mean that I suffered less.  It will be a wonderful world when none of us suffer at all for things that shouldn't be fodder for societal censure in the first place. We are none of us perfect, and we have none of us had perfect lives, but we are all worthy of love, respect and equality.

I will do my part to try and remember this, lest I become the one making the kinds of comments that made me blink today (and made me a little nauseous too...).

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully said, Samwise. Have you found "Dances With Fat"? A great blog that I enjoy. Love you.